Two weeks ago, I got swept up in a whirlwind of productivity. The energy of spring seemed to be fueling incredible optimism, purpose and momentum for me - the likes of which I haven't experienced since before the pandemic!
I was really charged up about "The Oxygen Mask", a community project I’m hosting in May (see link below)...and I was excited, full of passion and feeling drawn to spend as much time as I could working on it.
But after several productive days riding this high, something happened.
I started noticing that the extra energy I was putting in was taking its toll. Instead of feeling exciting momentum, I was feeling anxiety, overwhelm and exhaustion. That familiar feeling of “so much to do, not enough time" had crept in. I was putting another 2.5 hrs of work in after my kids went to bed. And then I’d wake up in the middle of the night thinking of what I still needed to do.
This is a pattern I know all too well. The passion “pulling” me forward had shifted to a "pushing" or “striving” energy...which is always a sign that fear is present.
The fear of:
Not having enough time to get everything done.
Not being capable enough to pull this off.
Dropping balls and letting people down."
Being judged if I make a mistake.
Maybe you've experienced some of these fears creeping into a project or activity you loved too?
You may not always be aware of Fear's presence...but you do notice that something you loved doing suddenly feels tiring, boring or overwhelming. You may "armour up" and push through, even though you've lost energy and drive. You might find yourself procrastinating or fighting the urge to throw in the towel. Or you might find you're exhausted, overwhelmed and unable to take action.
Fear is a constrictive energy - which means its purpose is to tense our muscles and get us ready to "fight, flight or freeze". It does this to keep us safe.
So this shifting from passion to fear is nothing more than a sophisticated but misguided strategy by our egos to protect us from getting hurt.
As soon as we start following our hearts, taking up more space, using our voice, growing our capability - and expanding the possibilities for our selves and our lives - our egos jump into action to protect us from rejection, humiliation, abandonment or betrayal.
In the past I would have let the fear run the show, allowing my ego to run old stories about not being capable or deserving enough...and sometimes I’d sabotage my efforts by quitting.
But this time I was fortunate to recognize the pushing energy as fear-driven and unproductive.
So I decided to switch gears and “slow down to go fast”.
That morning I swapped my workout with yoga, and I postponed work to attend a group call that felt restorative. As a result, I had so much more energy, and I felt more at ease, in the flow and trusting of the unfolding process. My productivity increased and the connections I was making felt deeper and more authentic.
Was there a time when you decided to prioritize rest and restorative activities instead of continuing to push through? Did you gain more energy or ease? And what impact did it have on your relationships and work?
When you find yourself caught up in "pushing" energy, what could you do to give yourself a break? What might "slow down to go fast" look like for you?
One idea could be beginning your day with a pause. Sign up for The Oxygen Mask community project this May, and you'll get self-care wisdom delivered to your inbox...which you can read while you enjoy your morning cup of coffee or tea. ☺️
