In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I thought I'd share some things I've learned over the past two months - both the hard way and the easy way - about Self-Love.
Taking time throughout our day to connect to ourselves - to “love ourselves up” - is not selfish. It's deeply loving. It's actually the biggest gift we can give ourselves and others. When we show up as our best, we're able to serve and care for others in a way that's truly helpful and impactful.
Practicing Self-Care throughout our day cannot be a luxury for "when we have time." It's essential to our success. It's the very antidote to stress, anxiety, frustration and overwhelm.
Sigh. The wise parts of ourselves *know* all this to be true, don't they? But it can be so hard to put into practice.
How many of us say to ourselves, when life becomes full of urgent priorities and it's up to us to get it all done and take care of everyone:
"I have no choice but to put myself last. I'll just have to push through."
Sound familiar?
And how many of us are hard on ourselves when we don't show up as our best in those moments, blaming and shaming ourselves with some version of: "If I was just more____ then I'd be able to handle this all better!"
We've all been there. I sure have.
Even though much of my work as a coach is helping my clients slow down and connect to themselves so they can cultivate greater Self-Love and Compassion, I’ve still struggled at times to do this in my own life.
Recently, I spent my days bouncing between supervising virtual learning, parenting restless, frustrated kids, coaching clients, and participating in a rigorous training program. I poured all my energy into supporting, navigating others' emotions, care-giving and deep listening... and since my usual time slots for self-care practices had been eaten up by the extra demands, I fell into old patterns of putting everyone else first. I didn't do what I needed to "fill my cup" first.
It's no surprise to me that I struggled big-time. The anxiety, frustration and overwhelm of trying to be everything to everyone leaked out into my relationships and work, and my self-confidence plummeted. It was a humbling lesson.
But just the month before, I had a self-care practice firmly in place with set times in my day to escape to my room to breathe, check in with my emotions, process them and bring in the energies of Love, Compassion, Hope, and Trust. When my husband got sick, and I suddenly had to care for the whole family on my own, this self-care practice was my life raft… and I managed to navigate the constant care-giving, sleep deprivation, round-the-clock vigilant sanitizing and more with surprising ease, calm, patience, gratitude and even joy.
Leaning into Self-Love, Self-Compassion and Self-Care in the tough moments is the key to our emotional resiliency, mental well-being and success.
And I'm committed to helping you integrate Self-Care practices into your daily life no matter what's going on.
Here's a quick and easy practice you can do every day to call in love and compassion when you need it most:
Find a quiet room - it could even be the bathroom!
Close your eyes and breathe deeply for 3 breaths.
Put one hand on your heart, and the other hand on your belly, and repeat this to yourself as you breathe:
In this moment, I am doing enough.
In this moment, I have enough.
In this moment, I am enough.
In this moment,
I am doing enough.
I have enough.
I am enough.
You can also listen to the audio version here.
This practice is powerful and effective because it provides a short-cut to that wise part of yourself that knows:
You already have within you the resources you need.
All that's required is to take one step at a time. One moment at a time.
The means, not the outcome, is the most important. You, showing up as your best, from a place of Love, is Enough.
Sending Love to you today. ️
