When you rest,
you catch your breath
and it holds you up,
like water wings.
~Anne Lamott
This quote found me today. Like a gift dropping out of the sky and landing at my feet - or, in this case, landing on my cell phone screen - it was exactly what I needed to hear, exactly when I needed to hear it. I felt my whole body exhale with a big "Yesss..."
I've been feeling maxed out these days. I KNOW I need to slow down and rest. I LONG to just take a day off and do Nothing.
BUT.
There’s a part of me that also feels I have "no choice" but to Just. Keep. Going.
Sometimes it can feel like I'm stuck in a tug of war.
On the one side of the rope is The Responsible One within me. She's listing off all the hundreds of tasks to do, details to remember, relationships to tend to, appointments to go to, plants to nurture (it's gardening season!), projects to begin or finish... I can hear her (my) voice matter-of-factly saying, "It's impossible to rest, there's just No Time...I HAVE to get all these things done right away."
And on the other side of the rope is another part of me (an Inner Child or Teen perhaps?) who is protesting, crying out: “Why do I have to do all this stuff!? It's Not Fair! I just want a freakin’ break!"
Can you relate to this tug-of-war feeling?
It's certainly a tug of war that I familiar with. And, in my past, there have been many times when I've allowed The Responsible One to keep tugging until I'm an empty shell of a person and no good to anyone.
But, I am wise enough now to know I have the power to interrupt this old pattern.
Or, perhaps what’s more true is that I’m now more connected to my Wise One within who’s always known I have the ability to choose a different response.
Choosing a different response is what we call being Response-able.
Since I know that I need rest to sustain me, recharge my batteries and enable me to thrive in all of these activities, I am choosing to stop the tug of war, set down the rope and go have a rest.
And I invite you to do the same.
Why not set down the rope - just for a bit? Give yourself even 10 minutes to retreat to another room, close your eyes, put your feet up, catch your breath.
Let's allow ourselves to be held up for a while.
Let's put on our water wings.
P.S. There's still time to join us in The Oxygen Mask project, where we’re exploring response-ability for self-care. Sign up any time in May to receive the emails with behind-the-scenes stories of how busy people care for themselves. Enjoy those emails while sipping your tea or coffee in the morning. And then drop into our pop-up Facebook community of like-minded people who "get" how hard self-care is to exchange thoughts, ideas and experiences, and to feel supported on your journey.
