Have the last five months felt a bit like someone stuck a huge magnifying glass over every area that wasn't working in your life?
Any sort of extreme stress, like a pandemic, will do just that. It's like our "friction spots" suddenly get shoved in our faces so we can't ignore them any more.
For example, say you were used to putting your kids' needs, work demands and household chores ahead of your own self care. Maybe the very idea of taking time for yourself felt selfish, indulgent and impractical. (How many hands are raised here? Mine is.)
Before the pandemic, you might have been able to “power through” your days, knowing you had some time to recharge on your commute or by going to bed early.
Suddenly, you’re cooped up with your family 24-7 with nowhere to escape to, and expected to squeeze a full workday in around homeschooling, cleaning up after everyone and navigating daily meltdowns... I'm guessing there was a point where you felt had Nothing Left To Give because you weren’t "filling your cup", am I right?
It’s clear that in this situation putting our self care first is critical to our survival, but it still feels incredibly hard, doesn’t it? And it feels like we’re forced into a situation where we have no choice but to "do the work" to grow ourselves but don't we have enough on our plate to deal with already?!
This new space of awareness can feel incredibly uncomfortable and painful. This is what we call bumping up against a "growing edge".
Think of a "growing edge" as one side of a box that we're inside - which we now desperately want to make bigger. The box represents a limiting belief we have about ourselves.
When our box feels too small, it’s time to expand!
If we have a tendency to put our own needs last, for example, we might have a deep-rooted belief that we do not truly deserve to be happy, or, that we must earn the love of others by pleasing them.
But as painful as these times are, they can be a gift. We have an opportunity to focus on growing ourselves, becoming more.
So, working with our growing edge means we get to examine old, limiting beliefs and replace them with new, freeing ones. (Woohoo!)
For example, we can replace the old belief of:
"I don't deserve to feel happy."
"If I don't meet others' expectations, they won't like me."
with:
"I matter, and I am worthy of happiness."
"I’m already loved for who I am. And when I fill my cup first, I get to share more of my best qualities with others!"
So, let's celebrate this invitation to work with your growing edges.
What's a friction area you've experienced during these last few months?
What action’s being asked of you?
What skills are necessary to develop?
What beliefs about yourself do you need to let go of to do this?
