"The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything." ~ Warren Buffet
This morning, I came across a great article in Inc. Magazine sharing the top habit that successful people like Warren Buffet implement that sets them apart from everyone else: saying No.
By saying NO to most things, they can say YES to the things that allow them to use their strengths to the fullest, produce the biggest results with the least amount of effort, build the strongest relationships, and ultimately, bring them the most joy or satisfaction.
Setting boundaries on our time is both an art and practice that anyone can master over time. Saying no is simply a muscle that we need to use regularly to get stronger.
The payoff for doing so is huge. Imagine: if you focused your time on doing only the things that mattered most to you, came more naturally and easily, and felt more engaging and energizing…What might life be like for you then? It would certainly feel like less of a struggle, wouldn’t it?
Think about the impact you might have…If you’re operating from a “full bucket” of energy, focus, enthusiasm and health, you’re able to access more of your natural gifts, strengths, energy and presence in a way that people can actually benefit from and that does the most good.
I don’t know about you, but that’s the definition of being successful to me.
This year, I learned the lesson of saying No the hard way.
When I was first getting my coaching business started, I struggled to find clients. There was a long period where I wasn’t coaching anyone. This fallow period got me panicking about my “worth” as a human being, and without realizing why I was doing it - to feel useful - I began to give my time away.
Several months went by of me living a jam-packed schedule. I raced from work appointments to school pick-ups to meetings, frantically tried to catch up each week on emails and documents I owed people so I didn’t completely drop any balls, ghosted my extended family and friends, had very little patience and quality time with my children and husband, and generally felt rundown…Then, I finally woke up and decided to put some serious boundaries on my time and energy.
I’ve since pulled way back on my volunteer commitments. I’ve said No to broad involvement (eg. serving on a board) and doing tasks that I don’t actually enjoy anymore (eg. newsletters). I’m now saying Yes instead to shorter-term projects that I’m designing around my strengths and passions.
Since saying No, I’ve felt significantly lighter, calmer and more energized. And now that I see clearly how I can best contribute to these causes and organizations, I feel more purposeful, and I notice my original passion for these causes has been reignited where it had previously gone flat.
We live in a world where being “so busy!” is a badge of honour, yet we see people around us dropping like flies due to burnout.
We obsessively give our time and energy away because we want to prove we’re valuable, useful, important.
We work very hard to meet others’ expectations, because we believe that failing to follow through or disappointing people means WE are a failure, a disappointment.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Let’s say No.
Our time is the most precious resource we have. And it’s finite. We can’t grow more or make more in a factory somewhere.
How will you choose to spend it?
If you’re interested, the article gives a great list of “Seven things successful people say no to every day”, which I highly recommend reading.
And I’d love to hear what you’re willing to saying No - and Yes - to….Please comment below or message me.
