Deliberate living asks us to have a clear idea of who we want to BE in our lives, so that we will have a better sense of what we need to DO to be that person.
In my previous post, I alluded to an exercise in Stephen Covey's book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that asks you to envision the eulogy for your own funeral.
I came across a similar exercise by Mark Guay a few years ago, which makes this process easier to envision.
Mark has two podcasts called The Traveling Cup and Your Life On Purpose, which I thoroughly enjoy listening to. He also has a companion life plan template that he emails out for free to anyone interested.
In his life plan template, there are ten questions to help you find your purpose, including the following one to help you flesh out what kind of person you want to be:
Be ready to get sentimental. How do you want to be remembered by the following people?
Write this as a freewrite format where you set a 10-minute timer for each question and do not let your fingers stop until the timer goes off. Be automatic in your response and let your heart control the words.
Your Wife/Husband/Partner:
Your Parents:
God(s):
Children:
Friends:
Colleagues:
I prefer this version of the eulogy exercise because imagining what I want specific people to say about me gets me thinking about the different roles I play in life. This helps me articulate how I want to "do" each of those roles. It helps me describe how I want to be with each person. And, most importantly, it highlights all my good qualities I'm currently sharing with others, as well as the qualities I wish to change or develop.
Photo credit: Aspire to be better by Tonja is licensed under CC BY 2.0
In having each person remember qualities about me, I am pointed to things I have done or might do that illustrate those qualities. So, I can start to see the habits, behaviours and mindsets I need to foster NOW as well as the activities I might start doing that will help me live my life in the way I desire.
This exercise can give you a solid road map for how you want to show up in the world.
Challenge: Complete the above exercise. Circle the words and phrases that describe how you want BE today and brainstorm ideas for things you might DO to be that person.