We all know, deep down, that the best gift we can ever give another person is our full presence.
Spending time with a person, listening deeply with empathy and a desire to "see" them, holding space without judgment for what they're experiencing... All of this lets a person know they are important and valued.
It's what we all long for. To be witnessed. To be heard. To know we matter. To feel loved for who we are right now.
Whether we realize it or not, every single one of us is searching for this gift all the time. We look for it, hope for it and expect it from our partners, our kids, our friends, our colleagues. We wish these people would give us this gift of witnessing, understanding, acceptance and unconditional love.
If we're lucky, we may have found a few people in our lives who can provide this to us on occasion. But more often than not, the people in our life don't deliver and we feel hurt.
The hard fact is, we can't rely on any person to consistently give us the emotional support we need exactly when we need it.
But we can.
The greatest act of self-care and love we will ever give ourselves is the gift of our own full presence.
How do we do that? you might wonder. How exactly do I "spend time" witnessing myself, listening deeply and holding space?
We start by taking a pause from what we’re doing, finding a spot where we won't be disturbed, and turning inward.
Doing this creates a safe space where we can "hear" what's on our minds - what's making us feel anxious or upset. We can ask ourselves what's important about this, and what we believe this means about who we are.
We can also notice how we're feeling and can let ourselves experience all of it - without judging ourselves as being right or wrong to have those feelings.
We can ask ourselves what we need to feel safe, loved, listened to and valued going forward. For example, do we need to make a boundary clearer with someone? Do we need to make time to rest or play more? Whatever is needed, we can commit to making that happen.
When we show up for ourselves in this way, we send the message to ourselves that we matter, that we're worthy of love.
If we commit to regularly spending one-on-one time with ourselves, filling our own buckets with the love and attention we crave, we won't be so dependent on getting it from others.
Which means we can focus our time and energy on bringing more of our full presence to others, and living in a way that brings meaning and joy to ourselves.
It's the gift that keeps on giving. 🙂
